Emotional attatchments -
They fucking pull hard. I think most of the time we can generally manage to push away the little pull on our hearts. The little gut feeling that wants that thing you pushed away. It sucks because it makes you second guess what you have going for you right now. It makes you think you should of put that little bit more effort into a past thing. So what? It could maybe be a something? But would it really be anything if you followed through with those little attachments that pull so hard. Maybe it’s us missing the past, missing a vague memory. Maybe it’s just me being stupid, me being crazy because what I really have at the moment is far more then I could of wished for. I think those little heart pulls are a gentle reminder to be thankful past things never worked out. But the question that eats away is what if? And what if will be the death of me.
{18.05.17}
There’s all this bullshit about relationships. Apparently, they are complicated and apparently they take too much effort. But I’m lucky enough to have found someone who brings the uttermost happiness and calming peace to me every day. You bring me excitement and an overwhelming of happiness. I think when you have the chance with someone so compatible a relationship is the world in the palm of your hand. I found my best friend, my biggest supporter and the best person to bring the sunshine on a rainy day. I have found the one my soul longs for.
I’d like to write something sentimental that will fill you up and make you feel passionate, but I sit here and think about this thing that pulls me. It’s like the outward appearance is nice and there BUT that’s not what I care about. There’s something there and I want to dig deeper and find what lies beyond these walls that remain reserved. I like to try and tell myself not to get my hopes up but in all honestly I can’t help it. My mind keeps lingering on questioning what lies beyond and the immediate desperation to know more. I guess I have to leave it up to the ways of the world for now, and who know’s maybe in a month I won’t have the same desires.
(Source: naa-ked)
